We come first
by Aethelflaed17
Summary: A continuation of the Ruby Circle and the revelation that Dhampirs can reproduce. Focused mostly on Rose and Dimitri.
1. Chapter 1

A conversation Rose and Dimitri have about being able to have children.

I was in shock, absolute shock. This thing that Adrian and Sydney were telling us was impossible, and I had a high threshold for impossible.

My life hadn't exactly been normal, even for a dhampir. Between dyring, seeing a strigoi restored, being accused of murder, dying again...it had been a crazy few years. I thought things had finally calmed down, but the discovery of witches turned things on their ends for a bit. This news however, beat it all.

"We can...dammit!"

Dimitri jumped at my reaction and so did Adrian and Sydney.

"Roza…" there was hurt in Dimitri's voice but I didn't hear it.

"Do you have any idea how much we are going to have to spend on condoms Dimitri?"

The silence in the room was almost enough to snap me out of things, but I was pissed.

Adrian held his hand to his mouth, trying not to laugh. "Well Dimitri, at least you know she is responsible."

"_That _is what you focus on?" Sydney asked. "I suppose it is logical but Rose, think about the big picture. You and Dimitri don't have to sacrifice having a family, you don't…"

My eyes widened, "we don't have to depend on the moroi for our survival anymore." To say that this was cataclysmic news was a bit of an understatement. Our entire lives, our entire society, was based on the idea that the moroi came first. We needed them if we wanted to survive as a species, that is why we gave our lives for them...but now?

"We need, this has to stay secret until Lissa's rule is more secure. Nobody can know about Declan, that much is obvious, but Dimitri and I can't keep it private when we have children. Well we could do the whole sperm donor angle, but…" I was rambling. Dimitri put his hand on my knee to steady me.

"Would you two mind of Rose and I had time alone?"

My mind was racing. I didn't even see Adrian and Sydney leave.

Dhampirs had depended on moroi for our entire history and now we could be free? Now, we could come first?


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: Even though I do not like the dynamic between Lissa and Rose in the later books, I do feel like Lissa would try to help Rose to have a family. _

"We have to tell Lissa," I said for what felt like the tenth time, "but we can't tell Lissa. Not without exposing Declan. He didn't make the choice to be in the center of this. He didn't make the choice to have our world look at him under a microscope, not like Lissa and I did."

Dimitri had his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, watching like a panther watched its prey. "No Rosa, he didn't choose this. We cannot bring his name into it."

"There is also no way we can keep any pregnancy I have private. How are we going to protect our baby Dimitri? How are we going to make sure they grow up to be normal. We can't even guarantee that they are going to grow up," I crossed my arms and continued my pacing in our shared apartment.

"Rosa, are you saying that you want to have children?" Dimitri asked.

That snapped me out of my head and for the first time in hours I stilled. Chocolate eyes met Dimitri's ebony gaze. He was tense, yes, but Rose saw uncertainty and hope. "Of course Dimitri. I just never thought about it because before this...it was impossible. Now, now you can be a father and I can be the mother to your children. I won't have to convince you to find a moroi to carry your child...and now I don't have to find an egg donor, though Lissa did volunteer."

Dimitri's eyes widened in shock… "You've thought a lot about this, e-egg donor?"

"Lissa and I agreed to it a long time ago. If you ever wanted children, she could donate her eggs and we could do in-vitro fertilization. She would even have been willing to carry the baby so I could keep guarding her...hence me jumping to the sperm donor angle so quickly. I want your children Dimitri...do you want mine?"

He cleared his throat. "Of course Rosa, but I want to get you down the aisle first before we start our family. You won't even let me propose yet. I say we have time. Also, there is no guarantee that it will work for us. It might only work on…"

I held up my hand, "don't. Don't do that Dimitri, don't take away my hope, not yet."

"Right then," Dimitri switched tack, "when did you and Lissa have this conversation?"

"Oh, right about the time you and I had our conversation about how I felt after you were restored. I wasn't okay with how she treated me either, she wasn't okay with how I handled things...we hashed it out over kobe steak and chocolate souffle made by Sparky. Then she brought up how she felt when I went to Russia that first time and how it made her think that Dhampir's should have more autonomy and that might increase guardian numbers...whatever." I returned to my pacing.

"So, I guess the conversation we should have Rosa, is when do we want to start trying for a family?"

I smiled. "I say two years of marital bliss, time for us to recruit and train guardians that we believe can guard Lissa and Christian, because when I have a baby, they will come first. Not Lissa, not the moroi. Plus that will give us time to work out contingency plans with Abe. Nothing is going to happen though until I get pregnant, which means I can stop freaking out for a little bit."

I moved and sat on Dimitri's lap, nestling my head in the crook of his neck. "Until then, we both have to stay alive, protect the queen, and try to make a better world for our children to be born into, because we will have children, we will be amazing parents, you, comrade, will be the best dhampir father to ever exist. In the meantime, maybe we can see if others…"

"If others can be like me, without the transformation."


	3. Chapter 3: Interlude, Darkness and Light

Summary: Rose thinks back over the past few years and comes to a startling realization.

"Okay, Declan's down for bed," Adrian said as he walked into the room. Rose and Sydney were each drinking a cup of his gourmet hot chocolate complete with chili pepper and clotted cream.

Rose's visit had been unexpected. Normally she and Lissa were attached at the hip, but, since her pregnancy reveal, Rose had been spending less time guarding and more time in the spotlight. The dhampir wasn't showing yet but that didn't matter to the world. What mattered is that Rose represented the first _documented _dhampir-dhampir pregnancy. With all the time she spent talking to other dhampirs and going to public appearances with Lissa, it was a surprise when she showed up on Adrian's doorstep.

The first thing he had noticed was the bags around her eyes and the hollowness in her cheeks. The second was that she was alone. Sydney hadn't cared. She had immediately ushered Rose in and sent Adrian to make them both a drink.

His wife was amazing, having read the situation right away. Rose needed friends, she needed comfort, she needed rest.

"I've missed the little tyke," Rose replied before taking a long drink. "Now, before you guys say anything, everyone is fine. Dimitri and Christian are spending time touring the other schools to promote moroi combat classes, Lissa is helping Jill with her fashion design finals, and Abe is being Abe. I just, since I have had time off I have had time to think, and it is a bit sensitive."

She gestured to me and I sat on her other side. "Well, considering we have both seen you naked Rose, I can assume there are no secrets here."

This earned me a smack from Rose and a kick from Sydney. It had the desired effect and I saw laughter in Rose's eyes.

"Anyway, I've been thinking about Dimitri and I, about how we first really got together and how I straight up cheated on you."

Wow, that was blunt.

Rose rolled her eyes almost as if she could tell what I was thinking. "Adrien, can you tell me what it was like when you were overwhelmed with spirit? Did you act in a way or do things that, while you wanted to do them, you would never do otherwise?"

"Rose, I was a being of impulse and vice. You know the answer to that question."

My friend nodded and tucked some hair behind her head. "I am just wondering, because, well, I slept with my mentor when I was 17. I slept with a man who had pushed me away and hurt me in the worst ways while I was dating another wonderful man. Both had happened after the darkness had almost overtaken me. I'm wondering how much was me and how much was the darkness. I can't help but think that if my baby were in the situation, I would kill the person.

"I'm not taking away Dimitri's accountability. However, the fact is, each time he had a consenting partner. I don't know why this is bothering me now. It's been over six years since the first incident, I just, I needed to understand. Plus, we needed a break." Her hand strayed to her stomach.

"Have you talked to Dimitri about this?" Sydney asked.

"Yeah, I have. I told him how I regretted the circumstances but not the results, I told him how it was bothering me that I didn't know...his answer was to 'fix' things. Damn, that sounds wrong. What I'm saying is that he recreated our first time, only doing things, in his words, right. It's how we got this," she said, pointing to her stomach.

Sydney and I wrapped our arms around Rose. Whether it was pregnancy hormones, stress, we didn't know. We just knew she was hurting and confused. Also, hearing that she had been taking in darkness before each moment...I felt the scar from what happened disappear. I had forgiven myself for actions taken under the influence of spirit, and I had forgiven her for things I believe she had done with full knowledge and mental competence. Now, knowing her judgement was compromised, I was just grateful that her relationship with Dimitri was as healthy as it was.

"Glad to hear that my cousin is treating you right." I kissed the top of her head. "Rose, I am not mad at you, not anymore. I also don't think you are inherently a cheater. Yeah, we all have an edge, and spirit pushed you over the edge, but it pushed you toward someone who could heal you and bring you back."

"There isn't any way for us to fix the past," Sydney chimed in. "What is done is done. Just don't let it haunt you. We aren't perfect, sometimes we can't figure out why. Think about me. For most of my life I believed you guys were evil just because of the way you were born. I don't hate myself for that, I accept it and move on. Now, I have an amazing husband, I am finally free, I have a son I adore, and I have a dear friend whose child I expect to see rock the world the same way she has."

"And I have an amazing wife, a sweet little boy, a college education," Rose and I high fived on reflex, "a home, and all of this because we are flawed human beings who kept trying. Also, you are free from the darkness now...well, almost. Pregnancy hormones could be a bigger issue," I said, trying to sound introspective.

This earned me another slap from Rose and Sydney, but I felt Rose become lighter and more calm.

"Until then, how about I make some baby friendly stew, more hot chocolate, and you and Sydney get caught up. Tomorrow you two will go and get massages and I will take Declan." I held my hand up to still any protest, "mothers need a day off. Dimitri isn't here so I have to spoil you both." I gave Rose one last squeeze before I stood up.

"For what it's worth Rose, thank you for coming to us."


	4. Chapter 4

It had taken a great deal of work, but Lissa, Adrian, and their allies had managed to gather enough restored dhampirs and willing test subjects to begin clinical trials. Neil was still in the wind, but others had volunteered. A few of the test subjects for the vaccine had even volunteered to be turned and restored if necessary. Dimitri was firmly against the idea but Rose…

"First off, I don't see why you are all freaking out. With all of the scouting missions, we have no shortage of strigoi that need to be restored. The biggest issue is non bonded spirit users and, with the new educational programs and help from schools in Russia, this issue is a non issue." Rose threw another dart at the board she insisted be installed in the conference room.

"Plus," she continued, "strigoi hunting has become a lot safer since we opened up the engineering research department. Turns out dart guns with charmed silver stakes work just as well as the handheld ones, with a few modifications. Charmed silver chains help keep them under control quite effectively. I am really surprised that we didn't update the technology sooner."

"Well, we didn't exactly have dhampirs in the queen's royal cabinet before," Lissa pointed out. "At any rate, we should really get back to the review."

"Agreed," Sydney said from her place at the board. "I have contacted my coven, they are willing to help us with the study. All signatures have been collected and all involved have agreed to have their memories compelled away upon voluntary exit from the study in order to maintain confidentiality. We have the groups divided into the following categories, if you would all turn to page three of your packets.

"First, all tests will be done via in vitro fertilization. If all tests turn negative, we will proceed with artificial insemination and then on to traditional copulation. The first test group involves male dhampirs who have received the vaccine and non vaccinated females. The second test group will involve non vaccinated males and vaccinated females. Third group has both male and female vaccinated dhampires. Fourth group has restored males and non restored females...I think you all see where this is going. The group has declined seeing if a strigoi-dhampir pairing is possible because we are not insane and completely devoid of morality and ethics."

"Says the witch who summoned a baby demon to spot danger," Christian quipped.

"Says the devil of the night who drinks blood to survive."

Dimitri went to cover Rose's mouth before she could say something truly vulgar. The meeting was being recorded after all. "And even though it is slightly jumping outside the bounds of sound science, Rose and I will keep detailed notes of our efforts to conceive, to be filed privately and only studied by non dhampir agents."

Rose went back to throwing darts. "Don't hold your collective breaths though. There hasn't even been a wedding and there is no official group for dhampirs who have been brought back to life. Too many variables are present for us to be valid subjects."

"Right. Now, the proper tests have been run, all dhampirs are fertile, sperm count on the males are within acceptable levels. Once the women complete their hormone treatments, we will extract the eggs and begin testing. If the vaccine itself proves to be effective, we move onto the next phase of tests. Sonya will take point from there."

Sydney handed her whiteboard marker off to Lissa. Early on that had become the signal of a switch from science to public relations. This was going to cause a stir, no question and Rose had to admit that the upheaval of vampire society as they all knew it was actually appealing. Her race, like it or not, was a slave race, bound by their need for survival. Without the moroi, the dhampirs would cease to exist, However, if the best case scenario were to occur, meaning that fertility was able to be passed down from parent to child, then the dhampirs would be free.

It was hard to fight against her conditioning "they come first." It was instinct by this point, and it was hard to accept that Rose was now more valuable alive than dead.

"Now, there is no way to fully prepare for when/if we go public with our efforts," Lissa began, "but there are a few things we need to avoid. First, Rose and the other dhampir women need to be seen as more than just wombs with legs. That being said, they also need to be protected. All potential mothers are undergoing extensive guardian training along with all potential fathers.."

"Seeing dhampir's as actual individuals, shocking," Rose muttered.

She stopped mid wind up and turned back to the group, "Are you sure you don't want my dad involved in this? He could offer protection, get us a bunch of strigoi to restore, off the books…"

"Like this whole operation," Christian replied.

"Abe has his part to play," Sydney noted crisply.

"Whatever, anyway, you were saying Lissa?"

…..

Dimitri looked at the restored dhampirs. They all had the haunted look in their eyes that was all too familiar. He didn't even have to ask, Lissa had already made arrangements to provide counseling to help the dhampirs recover from the trauma. He and Sonya had agreed to share their experiences, sort of like a support group. It didn't hurt that one of the leaders of the study was not only a restored but pregnant with a dhampir. Sure, in Sonya's case it was not a miracle, but it did help endear her to them.

"There is no guarantee that this will work. However, all expenses will be paid and we will provide adoption services if necessary. I don't think I need to tell you what will happen if this does work," Sonya commented.

"For the sake of clarity, how about you just straight up tell us," one of the mothers replied.

Dimitri snorted. The woman was in her 30s and had a scar running down her face, not from a strigio, but from a Moroi who did not take no for an answer. "If this does work, then everything we know about life could change. My fiance is a dhampir, she and I are guardians. She almost gave her life for the queen and we gave up the possibility of having children to be together. Our entire philosophy is based on the idea that we need the moroi to survive. However, if we could find a way to continue our species without them, we won't need them anymore.

"Maybe this would force the Moroi to start fighting alongside us, maybe this would lead to a drastic change in guardian numbers, but whatever happens, it will no longer be a choice between our survival and our independence. It could either mean seats on the council, it could mean a new government...there are hundreds of different ways that this could go. Not all dhampirs want children, but we are hoping to be able to give ourselves the choice without needing the moroi."

The dhampir, her name was Aroa, crossed her arms and sat back. "Fair enough."

Another man, Hodei, spoke up. "Let's face it, there are many more dhampir women willing to mothers than moroi women. I see this as my only chance to be something other than a stepfather. Not that I do not love my step children," he threaded his fingers through his wife's hand, "but for us to be able to complete our family with children that belong to the both of us."

"Listen," another volunteer chimed in, a guardian named Brianna, "I am not here to change the world. I have spent my life living for others. This is an opportunity to live for myself, on my terms."

"Well I wouldn't mind having a seat on the council," Aroa answered back. "We've all seen what happens when dhampirs and moroi work together. Just look at Guardian Hathaway and our queen. The quorum law has been repealed, they are soft testing moroi combat classes, and they are trying to repeal that damned age law."

"Yeah, which will be great if any of us survive long enough to enjoy it," Brianna muttered.

"Which is why this needs to work," Hodei added in. "Theoretically we could have results in under a year."

Not for the first time Dimitri wondered why there weren't more moroi donating their sperm if they were truly concerned about the dhampir numbers. Maybe he would mention that to Rose and Vasilisa later.

"It would also change the guardian game. If restored strigoi turn out to be fertile dhampirs, then the moroi would support our efforts and policies would change. Of course, there are the pigheaded conservative moroi who would rather hide away in their fortresses, sticking their heads in the sand until we are all dead, but the results may silence them," Dimitri noted.

"Maybe this is the way we restored can pay back the world for our crimes, by bringing life."


End file.
